Friday, January 26, 2007


To commemorate today, the anniversary of my birth, I am going to have my annual exam and hear those words that make women everywhere shudder: "Scoot your bottom down to the end of the table" and "relax your knees" and "this may pinch a little."

Oh, and "speculum." That one's a total bastard.

I believe I have mentioned my reasons for going, even though it's my birthday and I should by rights be having a lovely day at a spa somewhere drinking a mango-starfruit-wheatgrass smoothie and getting a massage from a man with the slow hands named Sven. Oh well.

Because it's what I do to make sure I go to my annual exams, I treat myself to something nice or fun or tasty after every year's appointment. Today I'm going to eat lovely Indian food with my husband at our favorite restaurant, possibly get a massage with a $10 off certificate (though Sven isn't on the agenda, more's the pity), and visit a LYS hitherto unknown to me. (I get all three nice and fun and tasty things because today is also my birthday. So there.)

No, I haven't fallen off the KFYS wagon -- perish the thought. Perish it, right now. I got a gift certificate from my FIL and step-MIL for belated Christmas. See:

And I have to use it soon, or it shall expire (perish, even) and I shan't have the bounty due to me. Shan't.

Anyway, this particular LYS called Yarn Sellar doesn't have a website. There is a website for a store called Yarn Sellar but that's in Maine. Obviously my in-laws didn't hoof it to Maine to get me a gift certificate. Obviously, especially if you know them. Wanda knows them. Hi Wanda! (My sister-in-law)

Okay, what now? (perhaps this would be a good time to tell you all that I've been drinking throughout the entire time of my birthday so far (it's 12:30am now) and started YESTERDAY for I am a monster at the drinking. There may be a little loss of point and also of typing ability.) Yes. The LYS. I'm going and I'm going to spend the entire thing on yarn which will not count against me. Because it is my birthday, and because I will have experienced the Speculum Of Doom.

And thank you to my Mom for the flowers she sent to my place of work today, as tomorrow is my day off. You livened up my day, you sweet and also sneaky lady. Thank you.


Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Kathy! Enjoy your day, after the doctor of course!

Beth Rules! #1 said...

Happy Birthday!!!! You should get your birthday on like neck bones are on!

I scheduled my lady dr. appt. yesterday and I thought of you. So now my va***a reminds me of you. Wierd.

But super happy birthday!!!!

Pica said...

Have a great birthday!

Bring some knitting to the doctor's office with you. That will keep your mind off those cold duck lips.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Kathy!

Heather said...

Happy Birthday, Kathy! So what didja get at the yarn store? :-D

Alison said...

Happy Birthday! I need to schedule my appointment but I have to wait for my class/work schedule to finish shaking out first. I hope you got a clean bill of health. :)

Lisa said...

Ugh. I had my yearly exam a couple of weeks ago. That speculum...shudder.

It's funny how the things that are supposed to check to make sure we're healthy actually look like torture devices.

Next time, I'm going to take a page from your book and treat myself to something pampering afterward. I think it's deserving after getting an exam that makes me feel like I'm being turned inside out.

Yvonne said...

Happy Birthday! Mmm, Indian food.