Wednesday, May 31, 2006

How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Wednesday

1. Have the server that holds the circulation module for all the libraries (20+) in your system come crashing down sometime over the weekend. Do not attempt to solve this problem or even notify affected libraries until Tuesday morning.

2. As a library patron, refuse to believe that anything is wrong and take it out on the library staff. Because we only live to annoy. Alternately, call to ask what is wrong with your record and spend the next five minutes telling me that you won't keep me, that you know I'm very busy, and that you will check your record tomorrow. Repeat at least three times.

3. When you find and fix a problem with the ancient AC system in the library on Tuesday night (a problem due to which the AC has been turned off), neglect to turn the AC back on so that library staff are overheated and sweaty as they try to catch up with the backlog of books when the server comes up. Extra bonus points if the books start to mold.

4. As my co-worker, tell me "I'm not officially here" when I try to tell you, 2 minutes before your shift begins, what is going on with the giant mess at the circulation desk when I am trying to leave for my lunch break.

5. Ask me how my wedding plans are going. Beware the rusty knives I throw in your direction as I run screaming away from you.

6. Be sure to leave me the car with the least gas. Extra bonus points if the "low fuel" light comes on.

7. Skip your normal workout session because you have left all your wedding invitation putting-together-stuff till the very last minute. Grumble because you think your dress won't fit or that your arms will still have that tricep jiggle. Stop grumbling because really, this is your own fault. Remember that you are crocheting a shawl for your wedding day and it will hide a multitude of sins. Rejoice.

Edited to add:

8. Check out a book from us. Allow your cat to urinate all over it. Decide not to confess your blatant irresponsibility and own up to the fact; instead, cover the offending odor with equally offensive perfume. Hope we don't notice.


OneScrappyChick said...

Ohhhhhhhhh I'm sorry you had such a sucky day!

As for the cat urine.. I used to work in a video store. I won't tell you the gross crap we used to deal with. We have a saying at school.. if it's wet, and not yours.. don't touch it!

SheCrochets said...

Ewww... number 8 is repulsive! People are so, well, repulsive!

Hope you have a better Thursday... sounds like it couldn't be much worse. ;-)

The Library-School Sister said...

The only way that Wednesday could have been worse is if that was the First Sign-Up Day for the Summer Reading Program.

Alison said...

No! Perfume and cat pee? Oh dear... I hope tomorrow is better!

Lisa said...


No, I'm not laughing. Why do you ask?


Well, I am, but it's your fault for writing it so funny.


Seriously, though, I'm sorry your day sucked monkeys. I hope your remedied that by having a glass of wine, some crochet time, and (parents please hide your children's eyes) doing interesting things with or to your fiance. Candyland, kids! They totally played Candyland! Totally!

Hee hee...

Cat urine and perfume? *sigh* And, people wonder why I want a flail. I feel all intelligent people should have flails to "correct" those who need it. A flail would have definitely helped that situation, if you ask me. But, failing to have a flail, I think you should have chased down the idiot with a bottle of Frebreeze. Just because it's funny.

margaret said...

oh kathy, that sucks giant assholes! and then here i go, adding to the loveliness by sending you that e-mail asking for addresses and party plans! ha!

sorry about that.

what a poor little kitty. i imagine that kitty does not have a clean litter box to pee in, or has a urinary tract infection... either of which would lead me to believe that kitty's owner is a big dumbhead. anyone who sprays perfume over cat urine is a dumbhead.

my favorite part of your story, though, is the person who called and repeatedly told you they would not take up your time. i think we all have talked to people like that, and they are so dear and so irritating at the same time.

anyway... i hope your weekend goes much better than your week!