Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The Universe Slaps Me Down

Just a short post to let the internet know that I can't write a decent post right now. This week is not going my way in so many different ways that it's hard to know where to start the story of how I hate it. I'll give you a list, because as Femiknitter knows, there are few things I like as much as a good list.

1. It freaking snowed last night. Ugh. Winter is starting to act like the scummy, needy ex-boyfriend who won't leave you alone and leaves notes for you on your doorstep and slowly creeps into stalker territory. Winter is a stalker. Go away, Winter, you bastard.

2. I can't count. I have now put the heel in one of my socks twice, and both times I have had either too many stitches or too few. I have temporarily banished them until I have my wits about me. This may take a while.

3. I don't know what month or week it is. Seven times this week (and keep in mind that I'm writing this on Wednesday morning, so that makes it "in two days") I've thought that it's either next week or 5 weeks from now. Seven times in two days. I need more of something in my diet. Probably more vacation.

4. The software switchover at work is not. going. well. Day one? 1500 errors from the offline/back up system we were using last week. Day two? Staff records still not uploaded. What could day three possibly bring? My money's on a plague of toads. Toads or book-eating locusts.

5. I had ten people clamoring to get into my beginner knitting class, and I could only take eight, and ONLY FOUR OF THEM SHOWED UP LAST NIGHT. I could spit nails. And one of the four women left right away. She already knows how to knit (using a spool to make i-cord) and just wants to know how to bind off (she'll come back on the last day). Another woman just could. not. get. it. I felt so bad for her, especially after a 7-year-old girl came up to us while I was helping her do the long-tail cast on (she was trying to use two needles; she never did get it), and told us she learned to knit when she was five years old. After a while this woman just sat and cackled and tried to knit with three straight needles (I honestly have no idea). I don't know how to help her, especially as I've already put my hands on her hands and demonstrated the knit stitch and she still did not get it. Fortunately the other two women took to knitting like ducks to water and are even knitting continental (yes!). Only one of the four people who showed up actually brought the yarn (Cascade 220) that I put on their required materials list.

And now I have to get ready for work (deep sigh). I wonder how this day will go.


roggey said...

Ah, the rule of attendance! It's one I've learned through years of event and conference planning. [Example: 1) Plan for 75 2) Set up for 50 3) Expect 35]

And I vote for more vacation.

Rachel said...

Wow, crap week so far, huh?
Murphy's weather law: just when you're looking forward to tanks and open-toed shoes, IT SNOWS 3 INCHES! Maybe the week can only get better from here. And just in case it doesn't, buy some ice cream or tequilla!
BTW - It was great to wait in line with you too! And your "children of the corn" pic on Stephanie's blog is so cute!

Alison said...

Oh man! That is how it goes. Maybe you should pull a couple of people in from the waitlist for your class. :)

Yvonne said...

I love, love the metaphor of winter as scummy, needy ex.

One thing that may help with new knitter is to knit up a swatch for her, drop a few stitches, and have her pick them up via crochet hook. And then do it again, but have her pick them up with knitting needles. I've tried this with a couple people and it seems to get the wheels turning on how knitting really works.

Unless the problem is that she's not paying attention or something else. Good luck with that.

ActLikeOne said...

Now do you understand why my former library opted out of this horrendous software changeover?

femiknitter said...

Man, that all sounds terrible. You should bar those people from ever signing up for another knitting class with you. It's just rude.

This sounds like one of those times you just want to crawl in bed for a few days and wait for the generally crappy vibe to pass.

Kate_knits_a_bit said...

Oh you poor poor girl - there is nothing you can do. Therefore, you must visit the shops on the way home and stock up on special chocolate, and hot, caffeinated beverage of your choice, and possibly a movie that has absolutely nothing to do with any of the themes running through your week, snack briefly on something and call it 'dinner' (I'd go for pate on toast with large red wine on the side), then take possession of the lounge, arrange your coping strategies within arm's reach, fondle the anniversary yarn, and veg till bedtime.
It's like thumbing your nose at everything, but in a really mature way :)