Sunday, October 22, 2006

Dear Midwestern Interstate Drivers

I know it's been a while since driver's ed. for some of you. I know that it's hard to remember all the various piddly laws and bylaws and social mores and the common sense that makes driving less of a giant freaking headache for everyone. I know it's especially hard to remember all that and maintain a constant speed when you're busy talking on your cell phone, listening to your favorite song on the radio, navigating an unfamiliar turnpike system, yelling at your obnoxious children, getting road head, or whatever.

All I ask is this:

If you're in the left lane you better be going at least 15 miles per hour over the speed limit, passing someone, or about to take the weird exit on the left. Because if you're just hanging out in the left lane enjoying the pretty scenery, making a point about how no-one really needs to drive that fast, or passing someone with infinite slowness and care, I am going to ride your ass, flash my lights, and honk my horn at you for being such a damned idiot. I may also give you the finger.

Because I am done, people. I am done with Midwesternly holding-my-peace. I am done putting up with damned idiots on the interstate who can't maintain a consistent 70 miles per hour (it's a little slow, but I'll take that over the pride drivers who start out at 65mph but who speed up when I try to pass them. Are they threatened by my Ford Contour's weeny appearance? Do they have to prove that their car is better than mine? The mind boggles.), and who can't seem to understand that THE LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING AND FOR THE SPEEDY.


In better news, we spent the weekend in Ypsilanti (god, I love typing that word) Michigan with Mark & Amy. We had a great time and ate astonishingly well (much vegan and vegetarian-friendliness there), and enjoyed seeing our friends and their cats. It was, sadly, a picture-less visit, though not for lack of fodder from the kitty quarter. Knitting content to follow in a later post. I am tired.


SheCrochets said...

Gack! You were in YPSI??? You know that is practically in my backyard, since I live in NE Ann Arbor. Honestly, the next time you make the trek up here, you should let me know.... I would love to have up a cup of coffee and gab about yarn or something with you! (Does that sound stalkerish? Hope not!)

Renee said...

Worse than the people who drive in the left hand lane with no business being there are the zippy lane-changers - I've seen 'em cut across three or four lanes at once. They scare the living crap out of me. Problem is you can never give those guys the finger cause they are GONE! I was smugly satisfied a couple of weeks ago to see that the police nabbed one who had recently cut me off. Love it when the cops get the right maniac.

KathyMarie said...

SheCrochets- I know! I would have loved to email you and arrange a coffee/yarn date, but we hadn't seen these friends in a long time and it would have been a tad rude to run off and leave them. Next time, though, I'll give you a heads up and we'll get together. Yay!

Renee- Oh, those zippy lane changers. I saw one on our drive home that was just obnoxious. What do they accomplish?

margo pargo said...

two true stories (you accumulate a lot of "bad driver" stories when you drive from florida to illinois and back twice a year):

(1) one zippy lane-changer we had the pleasure of meeting was a SEMI!!!!! yes, a semi truck jumped over 2 lanes in four-lane traffic around chicago, and nearly caused a horrible accident with not just us, but several other cars as well (we all swerved or breaked in time to avoid it, though, thank god!)

(2) we met a left lane loser in tennessee, i think, who was seriously going about 50mph in a 70mph speed limit!!!! i almost hit the jerkhead.

but usually, i feel like i'm a conscientious driver, and i get less pissed at the slower folk than the people who needlessly tailgate, honk, flick people off, and zip around as if to show off their balls (some of which they really have - have you seen these things? these chrome or flesh-colored balls that people hang from their back bumpers)...

i didn't know there was a "15mph over the speed limit" rule for the left lane... i go with about 5-10 over depending on the speed limit. believe me, once you've been hit by a semi (i have! hooray!), you are much more careful in your driving, and sometimes the left lane might be the safest options if you're trying to get around crappy semi drivers, drunks, and slow-pokes in the right lane.

just a thought...

KathyMarie said...

Mags - I wrote all that when we had just gotten home and just gotten done dealing with the idiocy. 15mph over is excessive, probably. It just irks me when drivers who *can* get over to the right (when I'm coming up behind them doing 75 or 80mph), just decide that they *won't*. The rest is just silly stuff that of course I don't need to be all worked up about.


Lisa said...

The people who slam on their brakes and cut across three lanes of traffic nearly causing a pile-up of gigantic proportions just because they might miss their exit really get me. Apparently, going to the next exit and turning around is a sin or something.

Also, Little Rock drivers think a red light is a suggestion. Can't tell you the times I was almost side-swiped by some idiot running a red light.