Friday, July 07, 2006

Dear Miss Manners

How should one decipher the following card, sent in response to a wedding invitation?



Do we assume that ...
(a) we sent this invitaiton to math geeks, and this is their way of telling us that no one is coming (0 x 6 = 0)?
(b) the recipients are too shy to include their names?
(c) names on response cards are just not done any longer, that we were terribly gauche in asking for names in the first place, and that the fault lies with us?

Please advise, Miss Manners. My wedding is in two weeks and I am up to my ears in planning, in making lists, and in panic attacks. And if the proper way to handle name-less response cards is to assume that the fault is mine, I need time to properly word the suicide note.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Holy crap. Who brings 6 people in a party?

They really should be writing in their names--or just one name.

Good luck with the last details!

Anonymous said...

Actually, I have to admit, it was me. I am bringing Wade, Yuki the cat, Baka the cat, Gus the dog, and Joe the Dog. I forgot to tell you.

Or, like Alison suggested, it's probably a family you invited who forgot the name... by process of elimination (i.e. the people who DID fill out their cards appropriately), maybe you can eliminate some families and call the rest, with a little help from the moms? Or, you could just say, "SCREW YOU! You get NOTHING!" and not include them at all.

That might be fun too.

I support you whatever you decide! Your decisions are perfect!

Anonymous said...

I say you make everyone you invited write the number 6 and mail it to you so you can compare and find the culprit.

Papermasks said...

Maybe it's like Hitchhiker's Guide in that 6 is the answer but now you have to figure out the ultimate question.

Maybe 6 is the number of panic attacks they expected to give you when you received the response card.

Or, maybe the person in question is a musician who was wronged by his record company and has taken a cue from Prince and changed his name to reflect his ire. 6 is his new name as it was the number of goldfish the record company made him swallow before they would sign him. (You could always call him the Artist Formally Invited to the Wedding.)

Most likely it is how many shots of Jack Daniels you are going to do with your bridesmaids before you stumble out the door to prevent from killing the family who brought the five obnoxious children who will be trying to set fire to the decorations.

Note: these are meant to make you laugh and not cause yet another panic attack. If a panic attack ensues, remember the cure: like the salt, shoot the tequila, suck the lime. :-)

Good luck with everything, dear. Fear not, you will survive this. It will be a wonderful wedding. Anything that goes wrong won't matter the next day because you'll wake up on your honeymoon and be unbearably happy. :-)

Breathe. Just Breathe. :-)

froggiemeanie said...

Ack! That's annoying. Was there at least a return address on the envelope?

Katherine said...

Renee- No, because of course we chose the economical route and used response postcards.

And we didn't invite a group of 6 people... this was a charming surprise. Blech. I'm going to need to employ Lisa's suggestion of Jack Daniels just to get though the next two weeks. Kidding! Sort of!