Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Insomnia, situational

I hate the crap out of this weather. It's October 3rd (or it was for most of the time I was awake today... or yesterday... time is weird), and it hit bloody 88 degrees today. With mind-melting humidity on the side. Same tomorrow (Tuesday), then 77-ish Wednesday, and 55 on Thursday. Thanks, Weathergods!

I have apparently angered the Weathergods in some way (surely not with my sarcasm!)--I got a lovely migraine that started Sunday night and lasted most of Monday. Brilliant. This is part of the reason I'm blogging at 1am Tuesday. The only medication that kicks the crap out of my migraines is one that has caffeine in it. I rarely otherwise consume caffeine, which is why I was lying in bed thinking of 8 million things that need doing: crochet and knit projects for Christmas gifts ("I could be working on them right now!"), updating my Christmas list with new needles and hooks, bills, books to be read, and getting some damned sleep because I have to be up at 6:30 to run with Lara and Emily. And of course, sleep never happens when you need it to.

So here I am, considering more drugs (the sleepy kind), but only theoretically. I'm trying to get the ol' corpus working on its own. Hence the running. In 5.5 hours. Dammit.

Ever notice how the most deep-down and heartachey thoughts come about when you can't sleep? I was just thinking of my total lack of self-confidence (and individuality) in my early high school years. Very uncomfortable stuff. I wish I could go back in time and kick my own arse for being so stupid. I wish I had been a better person to everyone. I wish I could stop thinking these thoughts and get to sleep.

Alright. I just decided not to go running, and instead get some sleep. I feel slightly better. Will feel even more better (you see the state of my mind here?) if I can actually fall asleep. Sleepy sleep sleep. Change one letter and it's sheepy sheep sheep. Then, following the natural course of my melted brain: sheep>wool>knitting>christmas gifts>lack of time>worry>insomnia. My mangled mind conspires to further freak itself out. Well done! And with accompanying nausea! Terriffic!

The sarcasm content is a little high tonight.

1 comment:

TitaniumRose said...

It's nice to hear that I'm not the only one who can't get her brain to turn off at night. =) I hope the headache lets up soon. Our weather here has been just as whacky - hot and miserable today and then damn near cold by the end of the week. I guess that's just one of those things about the Midwest.