I'd fergotten that today be Talk Like a Pirate Day. I first heard tell of these goings-on Saturday night, when me mates and I were having a bloody good time (what with the grog and all). We gathered round belowdecks and every man jack of us (including the wenches) got pirate names. I can't be telling you what they are, mind, because they're too filthy for the likes of you.
This past Sunday was a day for looting and pillaging the local crafty store, where me First Mate and me found some precious booty (paints for him, yarn for me ScarfMe pal's scarf). I don't have none of yer fancy pho-to-graphs of the yarrrrn, because I've been a lazy bastard. I may deserve to be sent to Davy Jones' locker for it, but I'll fight everyone o' ye who tries to send me there, ye scurvy dogs!